40 Tips For a Better Life

Life is made up of good and bad lessons we accumulate along the way. In order to understand it, we must separate it into a few domains, each with its own lessons to teach us. This list of good advice was given by a group of people from all ages. So here are 40 great tips for a great life!

 

1. Drink a lot of water

 

2. Eat your breakfast like kings, lunch like princes, and dinner like beggars

 

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat fewer foods made in factories

 

4. Live your life according to the TEE princpile: Truth, Empathy and Energy.

 

5. Make time for contemplation and/or prayer

 

6. Involve more game playing in your life

 

7. Read more books than you read last year

 

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes a day

 

9. Invest at least 7 hours of sleep every sleep

 

10. Take 10-30 minutes to walk somewhere each day. Smile while you walk.

 

11. Don't compare your lives to those of others. You have no idea what their journey actually looks like.

 

12. Don't waste time on negative thoughts or things you cannot change. Instead, divert your energy to a positive moment in the present.

 

13. Don't exaggerate in your actions, keep yourself in check.

 

14. You don't have to win EVERY argument. Agree to disagree. 

 

15. Don't waste your energy gossiping.

 

16. Dream more while you're awake.

 

17. Envy is a waste of time. You may already have all you need, but if not, envy won't get it for you.

 

18. Forget past events and don't remind your partners of their past mistakes. It will ruin your present happiness.

 

19. Life's too short to hate people. Don't hate in vain.

 

20. Make peace with your past, or it will destroy you at present.

 

21. No one is responsible for your happiness but you.

 

22. Realize that life is a school and you're here to learn. Problems are just a part of learning, but the lesson they teach will be with you for life.

 

23. Smile more. Laugh more.

 

24. Don't take yourselves so seriously, no one else will!

 

25. Call your family often.

 

26. Every day give or do something good for another.

 

27. Forgive everyone, for everything.

 

28. Spend time with people over 80 and under 6 - it will teach you a lot.

 

29. Try to make at least three people smile, every day.

 

30. What other people think of you is none of your concern.

 

31. Your work won't take care of you when you're sick. Your family and friends will. Don't cut ties.

 

32. Do the right thing. It pays in the long-term.

 

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or brings you enjoyment.

 

34. When you are angry or upset, seek solitude before taking it out on the people around it.

 

35. Forgiveness heals all wounds.

 

36. No matter how good or bad the current situation is, it'll change.

 

37. The best is yet to come.

 

38. When you wake up alive in the morning, don't take it for granted - embrace it.

 

39. The secret of secrets in your heart is that you CAN be happy - so be happy.

 

40. Never forget to enjoy the time you have, the moment you are in, and the people that share these things with you!

COURTESY: "Pramod Agarwal"

Steps for Successful Speaking On The Spot

 by Darlene Price, author of Well Said: Presentations and Conversations that Get Results To get ahead, you need to be able to speak confidently when you're put on the spot. Here are seven steps to follow so you keep your composure and respond well when you're under pressure.


 1. Relax.

You want your voice to sound confident and your brain to think clearly, so you have to be as relaxed as possible. This is of course is the opposite of how you are feeling so you must intentionally take steps to 'manufacture' relaxing affects. Take a few slow deep breaths – this relaxes the body and the mind. Be sure to avoid a pensive scowl or furrowed brow by consciously keeping your facial expressions neutral to positive.  Silently affirm yourself by thinking, "I can do this." "I'm confident and in control." "I'm the expert on this subject." Remember, your audience can only see how you look and act on the outside; they never see how you feel on the inside.

2. Listen.

Often when we are in a high pressure situation and the adrenalin is pumping, we don't stop to hear the actual question or concern of the speaker due to the static in our own minds. To make sure we understand the question and give the appropriate answer, focus intently on the other person.  Look at him or her directly in the eyes. Hear exactly what is being spoken. Observe the speaker's body language.  This shows attentiveness, prevents distraction and increases comprehension. Try to interpret what is being said 'between the lines.' Is this a legitimate objection or an attack? Is it a simple request for more information or a test? Why is this person asking this question and what is it they really want?

Especially in a large meeting or public setting, restate the question loudly enough for everyone to hear. This gives the questioner the opportunity to clarify the question, or more clearly articulate it the second time. In the process, you gain more time to think and formulate your answer. Also, restating allows you to take control of the question and re-phrase or neutralize it if needed.
3. Ask a clarifying question.

If the question is too broad and you want to narrow the focus before you can effectively answer, ask them a question first before you respond. This ensures you reply with a more meaningful helpful answer, plus it shows you care and are listening. For example, in the above scenario, Karen could have asked, "Which aspects of the Detroit migration concern you the most about this project?"

4. Pause and Think.

Silence, used appropriately, communicates you are in charge of the situation and comfortable in the setting. When you pause you look and sound poised and confident. Avoid the temptation to answer too quickly – even though you may have the perfect reply.  This often results in speaking too fast and saying too much. A well-timed pause to collect your thoughts tells your brain to slow down. It also helps you organize and prioritize the content of your answer.

5. Use an organized structure.

In addition to anxiety, another key reason we freeze or go blank when placed on the spot is because so many ideas begin to stream through our minds at once. Avoid verbalizing that stream of consciousness (also known as rambling, or winging it). Remember, the questioner does not want or expect you to give a speech on the subject. What they do want is a clear concise answer with just enough supporting information to satisfy their concern. This requires on-the-spot structure. Limit yourself to two, no more than three key points with a statement of evidence under each. For example, here's how Karen could have responded to her CEO:

"Yes, Bob, I do recommend we migrate our current systems to the new platform. There are three main reasons why this transition will successfully avoid your Detroit concerns: First, the new platform features 99% defect free software…" (give one or two statements of supporting evidence).
"Second, it integrates seamlessly with all our systems…
And third, our migration strategy ensures no downtime for our customers…"
By focusing on two or three main points, and giving just the right amount of supporting evidence, you sound confident, clear and concise.


6. Summarize and Stop.

Conclude your response with a quick summary statement and stop. Most likely, a brief period of silence will follow as listeners are absorbing your message. Resist the common error of filling this silence with more information. If you ramble on with more details, you may end up causing confusion, belaboring the point, or opening up a can of worms. Here's how Karen could have summarized:  "So Bob, in summary, I do hear and appreciate your concerns; however, my team and I have thoroughly reviewed the challenges of the Detroit migration, and we're confident the plan for our division will succeed. With the new bug-free software, seamless integration, and customer uptime, our strategy will deliver all the benefits outlined in the proposal and ensure the success of our company and customers."
Thinking on your feet means staying in control of the situation. Remember to relax your body and breathe deeply. Listen actively to the questioner. Repeat their question if necessary, and ask them a question if necessary to narrow the focus. Use the reflective pause to aid clear calm thinking. Then, when you're ready to speak on the spot, be sure to apply a solid structure – limit your answer to three key points with brief supporting evidence under each. Summarize your points and stop. By practicing these simple steps, you will come across as a confident, credible, and trustworthy expert who knows how to think on her feet and speak on the spot.

7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships !!!

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support. Here are seven power skills by Steve  Brunkhorst that will help you form stronger alliances and bring more closeness, authenticity and trust to your relationships.

1. Relax Optimistically

If you are comfortable around others, they will feel comfortable around you. If you appear nervous, others will sense it and withdraw. If you are meeting someone for the first time, brighten up as if you've rediscovered a long-lost friend. A smile will always be the most powerful builder of rapport. Communicating with relaxed optimism, energy and enthusiasm will provide a strong foundation for lasting relationships.

2. Listen Deeply

Powerful listening goes beyond hearing words and messages; it connects us emotionally with our communication partner. Listen to what the person is not saying as well as to what he or she is saying. Focus intently and listen to the messages conveyed behind and between words.

Listen also with your eyes and heart. Notice facial expressions and body postures, but see beneath the surface of visible behaviors. Feel the range of emotions conveyed by tone of voice and rhythm of speech. Discern what the person wants you to hear and also what they want you to feel.

3. Feel Empathetically

Empathy is the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic is seeing from another person's perspective regardless of your opinion or belief. Treat their mistakes as you would want them to treat your mistakes. Let the individual know that you are concerned with the mistake, and that you still respect them as a person. Share their excitement in times of victory, and offer encouragement in times of difficulty. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen the bond of trust.

4. Respond Carefully

Choose emotions and words wisely. Measure your emotions according to the person's moods and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They differ in shades of meaning, intensity, and impact. What did you learn when listening deeply to the other individual? Reflect your interpretation of the person's message back to them. Validate your understanding of their message.

Compliment the person for the wisdom and insights they've shared with you. This shows appreciation and encourages further dialogs with the individual. A response can be encouraging or discouraging. If you consider in advance the impact of your emotions and words, you will create a positive impact on your relationships.

5. Synchronize Cooperatively

When people synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions will occur on time to produce an intended outcome. Relationships require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive.

As relationships mature, the needs and values of the individuals and relationship will change. Career relationships will require the flexibility to meet changing schedules and new project goals. Cooperative actions provide synchrony and build trusting alliances. They are part of the give and take that empowers strong, enduring relationships.

6. Act Authentically

Acting authentically means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your values. Be yourself when you are with someone else. Drop acts that create false appearances and false security.

When you act authentically, you are honest with yourself and others. You say what you will do, and do what you say. Ask for what you want in all areas of your relationships. Be clear about what you will tolerate. Find out what your relationship partners want also. Being authentic creates mutual trust and respect.

7. Acknowledge Generously

Look for and accentuate the positive qualities in others. Humbly acknowledge the difference that people make to your life. Validate them by expressing your appreciation for their life and their contributions. If you let someone know that they are valuable and special, they will not forget you. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words and actions will strengthen the bonds of any relationship.

Don't forget to acknowledge your most important relationship: the relationship with yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities, and put those qualities into action. You cannot form a stronger relationship with others than you have with yourself. You will attract the qualities in others that are already within you.

Ask yourself: What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationships I desire? What is one action I could take today that would empower my current relationships?

HINDU RITUALS & ROUTINES

HINDU RITUALS & ROUTINES

Puja room or a prayer room is an intrinsic part of every Hindu hosehold. This is mainly because rituals such as puja are an integral part of Hindu worship. In Hindu culture God is considered the owner of all creation and we consider the puja room as His room. 

This is a religiously pure room, in our mind. A lamp is lit and the Lord worshipped each day. Other spiritual practices like japa - repetition of the Lord's name, meditation, paaraayana - reading of the scriptures, prayers, and devotional singing etc are also done here. Special worship is done on auspicious occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, festivals and the like. Each member of the family - young or old - communes with and worships the Divine here.

Generally we avoid negative thoughts in prayer. We use only positive thoughts to get results. So, the room gets charged with positive energy, over a period of time. In that room, we generally keep pictures of Gods and Mahatmas. Even though we believe in one God, we keep the pictures of many deities.We light a lamp and worship the Lord. We burn incense in that room . Smelling incense while experiencing the calm silence of the puja room can be a powerful tool for the mind to experience peace of mind. All family members worship God in that room. Parayana ( reading the scriptures) and special pujas are always done in that room. We should make “ communing with God ” the specific purpose of the room.

The ideal attitude to take is to regard the Lord as the true owner of our homes and us as caretakers of His home. But if that is rather difficult, we could at least think of Him as a very welcome guest. Just as we would house an important guest in the best comfort, so too we felicitate the Lord's presence in our homes by having a prayer room or altar, which is, at all times, kept clean and well-decorated. Also the Lord is all pervading. To remind us that He resides in our homes with us, we have prayer rooms. Without the grace of the Lord, no task can be successfully or easily accomplished. We invoke His grace by communing with Him in the prayer room each day and on special occasions.
Each room in a house is dedicated to a specific function like the bedroom for resting, the drawing room to receive guests, the kitchen for cooking etc. The furniture, decor and the atmosphere of each room are made conducive to the purpose it serves. So too for the purpose of meditation, worship and prayer, we should have a conducive atmosphere - hence the need for a prayer room. Sacred thoughts and sound vibrations pervade the place and influence the minds of those who spend time there. Spiritual thoughts and vibrations accumulated through regular meditation, worship and chanting done there pervade the prayer room. Even when we are tired or agitated, by just sitting in the prayer room for a while, we feel calm, rejuvenated and spiritually uplifted.

The pooja room in our house should be planned according to Vastu Shashtra, because it the place where we meditate and worship. So, it is important to gain positive energies to connect to God.

A puja room, or pooja area, is an indispensable part of Hindu home and the position of the Pooja room in house is very important. Usually, the puja room faces east or west side. This direction promises to bring in happiness, prosperity, health, wealth, and peace of mind. North-east is auspicious for other reasons. In morning sunrays fall directly from north-east and give us positive energy. Puja area usually never faces north or south. The ideal position according to many scholars is to position the puja room in the north-east corner.
The idols and pictures of gods and goddess should be placed facing west or east. The idols and portraits should not be placed on the ground. It should be placed on a small table or should be hung on the wall.
Vastu Guidelines for a Puja room. - Minu CP (Architect)

Since Vastu is a science, there is logic and reasoning behind every guideline. As an Architect, I have attempted to explain these guidelines rationally and scientifically, so that you can decide what you want to follow and what you don’t.

WHAT IS THE BEST LOCATION FOR A PUJA ROOM ACCORDING TO VASTU?

**The Puja room should be in the North-East, East or North: The Scientific Reason- Early at dawn, the sun is in the North-Eastern part of the house. These hours are ideal for Yoga, meditation, prayer or study as it is very quiet and peaceful. Also, the early morning Sun’s rays have a very beneficial effect on our health. Therefore, the North-East corner is the best position for the Puja Room/prayer room or meditation room.

**In a big site, the Puja room can be in the Centre of the House: The Scientific Reason- The central part of a large house should be kept open to allow proper flow of air and cross ventilation. It makes sense to have a Puja room right in the middle of this court as it can be seen from all rooms and the space is utilized.

**The Puja Room should be in the Ground Floor and not in the Basement: The Scientific Reason- A basement is a dark and dingy place and one cannot benefit from the morning sun rays here.

**If there is no space for a Puja room, the Mandir can be placed in the North-East corner of the Kitchen: The Scientific Reason- In apartments it may not be possible to have a separate Puja room, but since one starts the day by entering the Kitchen, having a Puja here helps one to spend a few quiet moments in meditation.

**Avoid Puja mandirs in the Bedrooms: The Scientific Reason- Many people may feel uncomfortable to lie around with their feet pointing towards the religious idols, as they believe it is disrespectful to god.

**Avoid a Toilet near or above the Puja Room: The Scientific Reason- A Toilet causes disturbance when people use it and also the smell can distract while one is meditating.

WHAT IS THE BEST LOCATION FOR THE IDOLS IN A PUJA ROOM ACCORDING TO VASTU?

**Idols can be in the North-East, East or West of the Puja: The Scientific Reason- The morning sunlight streaming in from the North-East, East and the evening light from the West will light up the idols enabling you to see them better.

**Avoid idols facing North: Because then the worshiper has to face South which is not advisable. The Scientific Reason- When a worshiper sits facing South, his feet are towards the south and his head is in the North. This causes the magnetic North of the body, namely the Head to repel the Earth’s magnetic North Pole.

**Avoid broken idols or torn pictures: The Scientific Reason- Praying to a broken idol or torn image of a deity can be distracting.

**Avoid idols facing each other: The Logic: The purpose of having idols in a Puja room is for one to be able to see them and meditate on them.

**Idols should be kept at least an inch away from the wall: The Scientific Reason- Keeping the idols away from the walls, ensures that there is proper movement of air and incense smoke through the room.

WHERE SHOULD THE PUJA THINGS BE PLACED IN THE PUJA ROOM ACCORDING TO VASTU?

**The lamp should always be in front of the idol: The Scientific Reason- The idea of having a lamp is to light it and if it is placed in front of the idols, one can see them better.

**The puja things should be stored in the South-East of the Puja room: The Scientific Reason- All the puja stuff should be kept away from the North-East and East, so that there is no obstruction to the morning sunlight.

**Avoid photographs of dead people in the Puja room: The Logic- While many people believe in showing respect to the dead, it is better not to have their photos in the Puja room as they may be distracting or bring back painful memories.

**Food offerings should be placed in front of the idols: The Logic- Whatever is offered to god should be always placed in front of the idol as a mark of respect. Moreover, it is less cumbersome to remove and replace if it is right in front.

**A cupboard lower than the idols can be placed against the South or West wall: The Scientific Reason - This way, it will not be an obstruction to the useful morning sunlight.

Avoid storing or hiding money or valuables in the Puja room: The Scientific Reason- Many people may feel they are being disrespectful to God by keeping things and hiding stuff here.

WHAT ART THE VASTU GUIDELINES FOR THE INTERIORS OF A PUJA ROOM?

**The Puja room should have a lower ceiling: One can use false ceiling for the same. The Scientific Reason - A Puja room is generally a small room and so having a low ceiling will make it appear more proportional.

**The Puja room can be a pyramid shaped space: The Scientific Reason- It is known scientifically that sitting in a pyramid especially while meditating can create positive effects on the health of the person.

**Keep the Puja room clean always: The Logic- By cleaning the Puja room everyday, it ensures that one spends a few moments in prayer. Also it is a way of showing respect to God.

**Door to the Puja room should have two shutters: The Logic - When doing puja or meditating, the door is kept open outwards and can come in the way if it is one shutter.

**There should be a threshold at the entrance to the Puja room. The Scientific Reason- A threshold prevents ants and insects from entering and this is useful in a Puja room, as foodstuff may be offered in prayer.

**For lengthy meditation, sit facing East and avoid facing the idols: If meditation is going to last for more than 15 minutes one should not sit exactly facing the idols. The Logic-When meditating it is best to face East as the morning sun’s rays are beneficial to one’s health. If one keeps looking at the idols, it can be distracting. Moreover the energy that radiates from them can be very strong.

WHAT COLOURS DOES VASTU RECOMMEND FOR A PUJA ROOM?

Colours in the Puja room: Can be white, light yellow or light blue. White or light yellow marble work in the room is preferred. The Scientific Reason- White marble shines and reflects light, thus enhancing the bright and well-lit look of a space. The same is true in case of light colours.

Courtesy: "prasannam n"

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Tips Towards a Successful Relationship

Tips Towards a Successful Relationship

 

Having a good relationship can be tough to maintain for many couples. However, there are some things you can do and tips to learn to maintain a successful and happy relationship. Here are several tips to keep your successful relationship going for years to come.

 

1. Spending Quality Time Together: One main tip for having a successful relationship is spending quality time together. If you never have time for each other, then you both start to wonder, why you are together in the first place. Make it one of your main priorities to spend at least a couple of hours together a day. Even if you both work, this is a crucial attribute in a relationship. Make time for each other.

 

2. Setting Goals: Setting goals and making plans for the future can be a key in having a successful relationship. This shows that you are both in it for the long run. Think about where you both want to be in five years. Do you both want kids? Do you both want to build a new home together? These are questions to bring up, if you are both in it for a while.

 

3.Be Intimate:  Being affectionate and passionate in a relationship is a strong point for a successful relationship. Having intimate times throughout any time of the day is a great thing to do when making the relationship work. Running out of physical connections can lead to problems in a relationship. Therefore, for a successful long-term relationship, keep the intimacies going.

 

4. Be Supportive of Each Other: Be supportive of each other. Never judge each other, and hold blame. Remember that you are a team, never enemies. In order to be supportive of one another, root for each other daily.

 

5. Be Their Best Friend: Not only should you love your partner, but you also have to like them. Being in a successful relationship means that you have to be there best friend. Becoming friends first always helps to evolve into a long lasting relationship.

6. Trust Each Other: Trust is essential for having a successful courtship. You always need to have trust in your relationship in order to make it work for a long time. When there is no trust, is when you should worry. This could be an ugly feat to have in any relationship. Always put trust in each other. Jealousy can ruin a relationship in an instant.

 

7. Love Yourself: In order to have a successful relationship, you must love yourself first. You simply cannot love anybody else unless you have love for yourself. Having confidence and being secure with yourself is an important factor, when wanting to love someone else. If you are secure in yourself, you can be more secure in your relationship.

 

In having a successful relationship, you just have to roll with the punches, and take whatever you both are dealt. If you both stick together, there is nothing you both cannot handle. Be grateful you have each other, and always be caring. Taking in these few tips can make it all worth having a partner you can spend your whole life with.

 

Courtesy: "prasannam n"